I'd cancel my subscription to your issues.
Cohen's wit here operates on a deeper level than mere sass—he's identifying how we quietly become complicit in our own suffering, renewing our commitment to problems as though they were services we'd chosen. The genius lies in treating emotional baggage as something we actively maintain rather than passively endure, which means the power to cancel always rested with us. When you find yourself replaying the same argument with a family member year after year, or nursing a grievance that's long outlived its usefulness, you realize you're the one keeping the subscription active—and that's actually liberating news, not a condemnation.
“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason...”
Marcus Aurelius“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. I...”
Viktor Frankl“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
Seneca