The real wisdom here isn't simply being kind to yourself—it's recognizing that impatience with yourself creates a kind of moral panic that actually *prevents* change. When you berate yourself for stumbling, you're adding a second wound atop the first. Francis de Sales understood that growth requires something closer to gardening than to force: you don't make a seedling grow faster by yanking it upward. A person struggling to break a habit, say, finds that shame about yesterday's slip-up typically guarantees tomorrow's relapse, whereas a quiet acceptance of imperfection somehow opens the door to actual transformation.