The real bite here isn't about mere self-esteem—it's about power and the active labor required to resist being conscripted into someone else's story. Lorde speaks as someone who watched society eagerly author her identity (as a Black lesbian woman) in ways that served everyone but her, and she understood that staying silent about who you are isn't neutral; it's surrender. When a person doesn't articulate their own boundaries and values, they don't simply drift—they get consumed by the interpretations others impose, often for political or social convenience. Think of workplace dynamics: a woman who never names her ambitions in her own terms will find herself either dismissed as unserious or appropriated as the office mother, both fantasies that benefit the institution far more than they benefit her.