You forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget.
Our memories aren't faithful record-keepers but biased storytellers—they shape themselves to match our needs rather than facts. McCarthy suggests something grimmer than mere forgetfulness: we actively *choose* what vanishes and what persists, often without realizing it. A person might cherish a lover's kindest words while the sharp betrayals fade, or vice versa, each version of the past serving a different emotional purpose. The insight cuts because it means we're never victims of faulty recall alone; we're complicit in the narratives we carry, which makes both our self-deceptions and our resilience partially our own doing.